With long work hours, busy lives and let’s not forget a pandemic, it’s no surprise that more people are looking for love in different places. Yet, studies show that this type of matchmaking is resulting in long-term commitment less often.
Relationships aren’t easy. After all, you have to do them with someone else. Relationships and marriage take work – and that’s once you’ve found a match.
We may no longer live in an era of arranged marriages, but there’s still a fair bit we can learn from two of the most successful Biblical matches – Abraham and Sarah, and Isaac and Rebecca.
The story of the search for and discovery of Isaac’s bride is the topic of this week’s portion, Chayei Sarah. It’s, by all means, one of the earliest accounts of an arranged marriage.
It’s also incredibly romantic.
Abraham realised that Isaac needed a wife. Sarah had recently died at the age of 127, and Isaac was depressed after his mother’s death. Abraham knew that Isaac wasn’t in the right mindset to make a choice himself, so he sent a servant out to find a match for his son.
Turn Your Eyes Up To Find True Love
Do you remember the first time you laid eyes on your perfect match?
Do you remember what you felt at that moment?
Or have you yet to experience the magic of the Divine’s matchmaking skills?
Towards the end of this week’s portion, we’re offered a glimpse of such an encounter when Rebecca, after a long journey, lays eyes on Isaac.
Isaac, we learn, was having an evening stroll in the field when he spotted a caravan of camels. At this stage, he doesn’t realise that the caravan is Abraham’s servant returning from his mission to bring back a wife for Isaac. Isaac only sees the camels.
Little does Isaac know that this is about to be the greatest “meet cute” in history.
Rebecca, we’re told, “looked up: seeing Isaac, she got off the camel” (24:64).
What I love about this phrase is that Rebecca’s descent is described in Hebrew as nun-pei-lamed, which rather than “got off,” means “fall.” So, it’s safe to say that Rebecca “fell” for Isaac, isn’t it?
She then looks up and sees Isaac. Isaac looks up and sees Rebecca. They look up at one another and there they experience “love at first sight.”
So, what does it mean to “lift up” your eyes?
Let’s explore three possibilities using our beautiful couple.
Firstly, when they lift their eyes, Rebecca and Isaac see heaven. They see the Divine in one another.
Secondly, by looking up, the beautiful pair see the potential way beyond the surface. They’re able to look beyond their beginnings and see the light – that magical love-at-first-sight spark – within.
Finally, lifting up their eyes helps them to see their future. Isaac and Rebecca can see beyond the here and now and envision a future filled with blessings together. They see the promise of what lies ahead.
The Blessings of Love Are a Gift From G-d; You Just Need To Lift Up Your Eyes
The Torah teaches us that romantic love is a gift from the Divine. It’s the blessing of being able to see beyond the surface. Once we’re able to “lift up our eyes,” then can we find true love; our true match.
How often have you heard stories about how people met their beshert (their destiny; their soulmate) when they weren’t really looking? In lifting up their eyes, they had the blessing of seeing something that had eluded them and in so doing, they find true love.
We find love when we look up; when we see the future in another. When we can see beyond the moment and beyond that initial spark. We find love when we see what lies ahead and the blessings that await.
Rebecca and Isaac’s marriage, and indeed the future ahead of them, isn’t destined to be easy. But, through the work of G-d, their finding of one another and their romantic tale of “falling” in love, this week’s portion provides us with hope and belief in the kismet of relationships.
Look up, and there you will find your beshert.
Shabbat Shalom.
Nachas & Drash 